at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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