If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
