Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
