then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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