Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
