check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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