i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
