I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dating After Heartbreak
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.