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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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• (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough

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• (585): View more from New York

  Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son

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• (212): View more from New York

  Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?

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• (442): View more from California

  the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck

  (847): View more from Illinois

  godspeed

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