Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

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(805): saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken http://tfl.nu/k7ra

Replies (20) Good night (740) Bad night (3549)
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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(954): everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone http://tfl.nu/mp6q

Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (3584)
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(206): View more from Washington

puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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(206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj

Replies (36) Good night (970) Bad night (4460)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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(703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf

Replies (17) Good night (4337) Bad night (1094)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.

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(262): I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick. http://tfl.nu/emch

Replies (6) Good night (4338) Bad night (1603)
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(914): View more from New York

all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is

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(914): all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is http://tfl.nu/2h7o

Replies (6) Good night (6099) Bad night (888)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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(778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq

Replies (18) Good night (4534) Bad night (927)
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(905): View more from Ontario

he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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(905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7

Replies (21) Good night (3761) Bad night (812)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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(828): remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch. (1-828): ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so. http://tfl.nu/n0v1

Replies (8) Good night (1995) Bad night (672)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

Replies (14) Good night (2807) Bad night (710)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"

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(703): Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up" http://tfl.nu/thd5

Replies (3) Good night (1066) Bad night (574)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico

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(651): Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico http://tfl.nu/a33d

Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (346)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.

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(651): Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room. http://tfl.nu/zu20

Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (323)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

I can't even make a guess how that goes.

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(405): No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved. (1-405): I can't even make a guess how that goes. http://tfl.nu/9wcc

Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (438)
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(863): View more from Florida

Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.

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(863): Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond. http://tfl.nu/cdum

Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (174)

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