I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
