Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
