I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
