That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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