I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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