what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
