Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
then he tried to convert me to islam
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
