so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
