Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
