All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
