couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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