I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
