i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize