Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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