I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
