Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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