Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
