Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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