He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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