Please, let me fuck your mom
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
