Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
