Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
