I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
