WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
