so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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