garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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