i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Let's get the cat blown out
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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