If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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