i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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