im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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