make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
