Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
