I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
