New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
