margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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