It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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