Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
