The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize