he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
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For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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