Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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