'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
