i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
