my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize