im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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