it's not cheating when I paid for it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
