i think i have herpe
just one?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
