Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
