But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
