youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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