Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
