Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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