If i come over, it means nothing
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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