I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
