I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
