your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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